Nothing is ever certain in life, but change itself..

Change scares many people. It gives them fear, causes them to do crazy things. They lash out, panic, fight it with both feet dragging in the sand or frown upon it and look down on it from their big nose. But, it can be a good thing. I live in a small town. I have lived in small towns for quite some time now, and one thing  I know is change in such a place can be best described as something bitter you have left in your mouth like a bad aftertaste--lingering and a bit unpleasant. You often find it more obvious in older people, for some reason. Maybe because they lived with so much change in their lives, seen so many things that they think they have earned for once a title of a well-respected know-it-all and everything is a certain way as they see it. Or maybe they are just tired of change by that age and refuse to embrace it. Regardless of the matter, they usually despise change. You will hear a whisper of opposition as a new store is built, a rumor of a different program is soon to be established or the possibility of a large factory coming that will bring many jobs to the area to replace the loss from the previous large industry closing up. "What do they think they will accomplish?" "That will never go over here" or "Humph, that is just ridiculous, do they think we are Atlanta or something?". The harsh response to anything that basically seems like it may bring a new change of pace to a particular topic, place or subject.

An old latin proverb comes to mind when the discussion of change comes up: "People fear what they don't understand".  I could go further and say "What people don't understand, they tend to hate". Which seems to ring true, in most cases.

However, change can be refreshing. It can be enlightening. I once used to greet change with hostility, much like most of the locals here, who are quite content asking every week "How's your mom and dem?" or "Looks like it's going to rain."

However, stagnant waters tend to smell pretty rotten after a while. Fresh water is much more pleasant.

I found myself very unhappy with the way my life has been going, pretty much a rut would be the best description. And what better way to describe it then what my pastor would quote " A rut is nothing more than a grave with the sides kicked out."

Boy was he telling the truth. The same routine gets old quickly. And if you find yourself going nowhere at a hundred miles an hour, you get a bunch of nothing when you finally stop. I wrote a song once that said "Laughter can hide heavy heart, but when the laughter fades, only grief remains, if you're running fast at a million miles, when you finally stop, all you'll feel is pain."

Funny how it is labeled "Everybody's going somewhere". But I don't want to go just anywhere. I want to go SOMEWHERE and with a purpose. We all want to be somebody, and make a difference. What is so fun about just living life only to end up riding in a hearse?

Morbid as that may sound, it is the truth. And it's reality. So I started evaluating myself.I realized I didn't like what I saw in the mirror. The only way my void could be filled is for me to stop running from what  God wants from me and just give in. It makes things so much easier.

It took Jonah the point where he was drowning and being digested in a large fish's belly to realize things weren't looking up. No pun intended.

And I don't want to be that far gone before I realize I only have one escape route. God has really been working in my life, and in small, subtle ways, which is really kind of cool. We all expect these huge flashing fireworks of signs and wonders or a big neon sign pointing "Go here". But, it really makes it worth it to look back and think, Man, he didn't force me at all, he gave me a CHOICE. Best part of it all is if everything was perfect...why would I need Him in the first place?

But the fact is I do. I need him badly. I'm on recall and the only one  to fix the defect of sin in my life is Jesus.

Corny, but true. And we all are scared to death of the change he can bring us. So we end up hating him in our own small little ways. And we don't realize it. We do it by loving other things more than him, turning away from him, or just being ignorant.

We get warped on our views of God, thinking him as the enemy, an unfair God, because we judge him by what we think is fair in our standards, and we only know such a small piece of the puzzle. It's like a movie where you think something about this one character the whole time until a big piece of the plot comes into play and you are stunned because you had no idea really what it was all about.

I think God is just like that.

It has been fulfilling to see him work in my husband's life, seeking after God with excitement in the skating rink that he has placed on my husband's heart. Big dreams, but not impossible. A song I really like says that impossible is just an excuse for those who don't want to try. I believe it 100 percent. Most people would try to say that we dream to big for owning a skating rink, but I say it's all God. How else would it be possible?

They haven't seen the strength in my mom when my grandmother gets worse from cancer. They haven't seen the faith in my grandmother as she tiredly goes back, each time sicker than before. They haven't seen the battles, the tears, and the sweat I have pored over my own endeavors only to seem them be radically changed to something I never thought I would try to do in my life. They haven't seen my beautiful daughter, my angel be born before my eyes and think how that creature grew inside of me when for others it couldn't. They haven't seen how countless times we have been saved from growing bills, chaotic breakdowns from relationships, communication or just appliance parts in our home only to be put back together like they were never broken.

My God is everything. Therefore, I am everything. I am a part of a bigger picture, and change is what did it all.

Some think change is a bad thing. But I think it is the definition of my life.